We're ALL Homos

Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm not being politically correct--so you would think. I teach middle school, aka, pubescent little hormonal roller coasters that have little or no control over their bodies, mouths, and minds most of the time. I was teaching a lesson today about phylogeny and the way scientists classify forms of life--you know, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species (remember that?). Anyway, we were classifying human beings: Kingdom Animalia, Phylum Chordata, Class Mammalia, Order Primates, Family Hominidae, Genus HOMO, Species Homo sapiens. The kids giggled, of course, when we got to Genus HOMO. I knew they would. So I turned to them and I declared that we're all Homos. Yup, all of us! Because the word "homo" doesn't mean what they were thinking (if I need to explain what they were thinking, you must live in a cave or an Amish community). So, the next thing I know, I'm getting parent phone calls. Crap! Why am I teaching? Sometimes, I have no Earthly clue. I WANTED to tell these parents to get real and perhaps educate themselves so their children don't grow up to be the next ignorant leaders of this country.

Does it sound like I'm upset? Nah. It's all just a day in the life of the profession we call teaching. [Under my breath: @#$%!]

Do I plan to win any awards as a teacher? Not unless they start giving out awards for "The Ability to Refrain from Going Nuts in the Heat of the Battle We Call the Classroom: Teachers v. Parents and Their Spawn." Thanks. I feel better now . . .

Where is Humanity Headed?

I love this illustration. It pretty much sums up what I see happening to us, in general, as a species. If any of you have seen "Idiocracy" (dumb movie, but with an undeniable message), you know what I mean. It shows the dumbing-down of the human race in a comedic fashion. However, the shear stupidity portrayed--due to the repeated breeding of the idiots in society (the intelligent ones have chosen not to reproduce) is something that I am noticing more and more right here in real life.

Now, I don't claim to be a friggin' genius, by any means, but I don't scratch my ass in public or dress up to shop at Wal-Mart (I'm not sure what that means), nor do I have living room furniture on my lawn or lawn furniture in my living room. I do have my concerns about the future of the species. Mostly because of the effect we have on other innocent species. There are no checks and balances on who reproduces and how they raise their young. Maybe we need to have some sort of natural predator to weed out the feeble minded . . . I have a pretty good hiding place. How 'bout you?

ADDICTED TO GROCERY BAGS! You'll Hafta Pry Them from Our Cold, Dead Fingers

Sierra Club's recent edition of the Insider tells the tale of possibly the deadliest item in your grocery store: the plastic grocery bag. The bags--most of which are made from petroleum--do not biodegrade, and the claim is that many (I mean MANY) end up blowing into and collecting in the ocean--to the tune of a blob of bags in one area twice the size of Texas . This area of the Pacific Ocean, called the Northern Pacific Gyre, has amassed these bags and fragments thereof that just keep swirling in a giant vortex of ocean currents. Estimates are that in the U.S. we throw away 100 billion plastic bags each year--which amounts to a whopping 12 million barrels of oil! I think it's time to BYOB, as suggested by Orli Cotel in her Sierra Club radio interview (Listen to the interview at http://sierraclub.typepad.com/insider/2007/09/the-deadliest-i.html).

I have been carrying canvas bags to the grocery and dime stores for about 2 years now. I bought a couple of bags and had some leftover canvas from an art project that was heavy-duty enough to stitch into bags of various sizes (with handles). I have also picked up a couple of teacher tote bags at garage sales that work mighty fine.

There has been a blue bag stuck in my neighbor's tree for months now, just flappin' in the wind. I see them stuck in fence rows when I drive down the highway--acting as though they were meant to be there, right alongside the waving tall grasses and cottonwood leaves. The least the manufacturers could do would be to make them in colors that blended with nature. But, then, I suppose we wouldn't be as likely to see the advertised store name on the bag, flying through the air, destined for the first thing to snag it up. I could've sworn I saw a crow wearing a Wal-Mart bag as a raincoat yesterday . . .

Check this page to see an animation of how the bags get caught up in ocean currents: http://oceans.greenpeace.org/en/the-expedition/news/trashing-our-oceans/ocean_pollution_animation